《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 7 (13):我需要精神导师

英语阅读 2019-07-30 06:12:07 108

The other notable thing that was happening during that time was the newfound adventure of spiritual discipline. Aided and abetted, of course, by the introduction into my life of an actual living Indian Guru—for whom I will always have David to thank. I\'d been introduced to my Guru the first night I ever went to David\'s apartment. I kind of fell in love with them both at the same time. I walked into David\'s apartment and saw this picture on his dresser of a radiantly beautiful Indian woman and I asked, "Who\'s that?"

这段期间发生了另一件值得注意的事,是新获得的灵修体验。当然是借助于介入我生命的一位印度导师——这我永远得感谢大卫。第一次去大卫的公寓,我就见到导师的面。我多少有点同时爱上他们俩。我走进大卫的公寓,看见衣柜上的相片,是个光彩夺目的印度女子,我问:“她是谁?”

He said, "That is my spiritual teacher."

他说:“是我的精神导师。”

My heart skipped a beat and then flat-out tripped over itself and fell on its face. Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took a deep breath and announced: "I want a spiritual teacher." I literally mean that it was my heart who said this, speaking through my mouth. I felt this weird division in myself, and my mind stepped out of my body for a moment, spun around to face my heart in astonishment and silently asked, "You DO?"

我的心砰砰跳,绊了一下,扑倒在地。然后我的心站起来,拍拍身子,深呼吸,宣告:“我要一位精神导师。”我确切的意思是,我的心透过我的嘴巴这么说。我奇妙地感觉自身一分为二,我的大脑离开我的身体片刻,吃惊地绕到心的面前,问道:“你确定?”

"Yes," replied my heart. "I do."

“是的,”我的心答道:“我确定。”

Then my mind asked my heart, a tad sarcastically: "Since WHEN?"

然后我的大脑问我的心,带点挖苦的语气:“从什么时候开始的?”

But I already knew the answer: Since that night on the bathroom floor.

但我已知道答案:从浴室地板的那天晚上开始的。

My God, but I wanted a spiritual teacher. I immediately began constructing a fantasy of what it would be like to have one. I imagined that this radiantly beautiful Indian woman would come to my apartment a few evenings a week and we would sit and drink tea and talk about divinity, and she would give me reading assignments and explain the significance of the strange sensations I was feeling during meditation . . .

天啊,我要一位精神导师。我立即开始想象有个精神导师会怎么样。我想像这位光彩夺目的印度女子,每个礼拜有几个晚上来到我的公寓,我们坐着喝茶,谈论神灵,她让我阅读作业,解释我在冥想时刻感受到的奇异知觉是何意义……

All this fantasy was quickly swept away when David told me about the international status of this woman, about her tens of thousands of students—many of whom have never met her face-to-face. Still, he said, there was a gathering here in New York City every Tuesday night of the Guru\'s devotees who came together as a group to meditate and chant. David said, "If you\'re not too freaked out by the idea of being in a room with several hundred people chanting God\'s name in Sanskrit, you can come sometime."

在大卫告知我这名女子的国际地位,学生成千上万——许多人都未曾亲眼见过她时——这些幻想立即一扫而光。不过,他说,纽约这儿每周二有个聚会,让导师的追随者聚在一起沉思吟诵。大卫说:“倘若跟几百人在房间里用梵语吟诵神的名字,不会吓着你的话,哪天就过来看看吧。”

I joined him the following Tuesday night. Far from being freaked out by these regular-looking people singing to God, I instead felt my soul rise diaphanous in the wake of that chanting. I walked home that night feeling like the air could move through me, like I was clean linen fluttering on a clothes-line, like New York itself had become a city made of rice paper and I was light enough to run across every rooftop. I started going to the chants every Tuesday. Then I started meditating every morning on the ancient Sanskrit mantra the Guru gives to all her students (the regal Om Namah Shivaya, meaning, "I honor the divinity that resides within me"). Then I listened to the Guru speak in person for the first time, and her words gave me chill bumps over my whole body, even across the skin of my face. And when I heard she had an Ashram in India, I knew I must take myself there as quickly as possible.

Eat, Pray, Love

隔周的礼拜二晚上,我跟他去了。这些看上去很正常的人士在歌诵神,并未把我吓着,反而让我觉得自己的灵魂随着吟唱轻盈飘升。那天晚上我走回家时,感觉空气穿透我,好似我是一条在晾衣绳上迎风飘扬的干净的亚麻布,好似纽约本身成了纸绢做成的城市——使我轻盈地跑过每一户人家的屋顶。我开始在每周二前去吟诵。而后我开始每天早晨沉思导师发给每个学生的古梵语静坐(庄严的“唵南嘛湿婆耶”[OmNamahShivaya],意味“我敬重内心的神灵”)。而后我第一次聆听导师亲自讲道,她说的话使我全身发麻,甚至传到我脸上的皮肤。而当我得知她在印度有个道场时,我知道我得尽快去那儿才行。

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