英文笑话:Ways to Report Death 报丧方式

英语阅读 2019-07-24 06:12:33 103

Ways to Report Death
  Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet\' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
  "Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you\'re insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, \'Edgar\'s on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.\' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian\'s. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That\'s the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
  "Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She\' s on the roof."

报丧方式   郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活,家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天,临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上,他打来电话询问:“埃德格好吗?”
  “它死了,”郝伯格回答。一阵沉默之后,詹姆斯说:“郝伯特,你真没心没肺,你知道我多么喜欢埃德格----你应该把这个消息慢慢地告诉我。当我问起埃德格今晚怎样时,你应该说,‘埃德格爬上了屋顶,我已给消防队打了电话,让他们把它救下来。’我明天又给你打电话时,你应该说消防队营救埃德格遇到了困难,但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时,你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力,但很不幸,埃德格从屋顶上掉了下来,被送到兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问,你可以说尽管对埃德格做了一切所能做的努力,它还是死了。这是一个富有感情的人告诉我埃德格的消息时所用的方式。哦,趁我没忘记还有件事顺便问一下,”詹姆斯补充道,“母亲好吗?”

  “哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道,“她上了屋顶。” 

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