老友记第八季mp3和剧本下载818:The One In Massapequa

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The One In Massapequa

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]

Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parent’s anniversary party?

Monica: Yeah.

Ross: Sure. Yeah.

Joey: So, who’s the guy?

Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.

Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?

Phoebe: Yeah, he’s really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.

Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?

Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?

Monica: Yeah, I’d really like to.

Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom won’t boo you.

Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it’s always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year I’m going to make them cry.

Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?

Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what they’ll say this year? "God, you"

Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) I’m an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)

Monica: Really you can do that?

Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I can’t do it with you guys watching me!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Chandler and Monica’s, they’re getting ready to leave for the party.]

Chandler: What are you doing?

Monica: Oh I’m working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)

Chandler: It’s a dog.

Monica: It’s a dead dog. That’s Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.

Chandler: It’s your parents’ anniversary and you’re going to talk about their dead pet?

Monica: The good stuff, huh?

(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)

Rachel: Hi!

Ross: Hey!

Joey: Hey!

Monica: You got a present for my parents. That’s so sweet.

Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.

Ross: Aww that is so cool.

Joey: And I got them a book on Kamp3a Sutra for the elderly.

Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?

Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.

Ross: (picking up Chi-Chi’s picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Y’know Monica couldn’t get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.

Monica: What?!

Ross: You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!

(Phoebe and Parker enter)

Phoebe: Hey!

All: Hi!

Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is…

Parker: No, no, no wait! Don’t tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, I’m sorry Phoebe didn’t mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, I’m kidding all ready you’re my favorite!

Chandler: Ha!

Parker: Why don’t all of you tell me a little about your self?

Ross: Ah, actually, I’m sorry we-we probably should get going.

Parker: (laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Put