老友记第七季mp3和剧本下载715:The One With Joey's New Brain

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The One With Joey’s New Brain

[Scene: Monica and Chandler\'s, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]

Monica: I’m glad you’re here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.

Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh…

Ross: What’s the matter? You okay?

Rachel: Yeah, it’s just y’know…

Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.

Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.

Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.

Chandler: Do you think you could get through a poem?

Rachel: (crying) It’ll be a short one.

Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.

Rachel: Ohhh…

Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.

Chandler: Too?

Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.

Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?

Ross: Sorry, I’m kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.

Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)

Joey: (entering, excited) Hey!

All: Hey!

Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and…

Monica: What is DOOL?

Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you’re not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!

All: Oh!!

Chandler: That’s great!

Joey: And-and-and not only that, I’m gettin’ a new brain!!

Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!

Rachel: Wait, what do you mean you’re getting a new brain?

Joey: Oh well, they’re killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.

Ross: What? A brain transplant?!

Joey: (seriously) Yes, it’s a highly controversial procedure.

Ross: It’s ridiculous!

Joey: Well, I think it’s ridiculous that you haven’t had sex in three and a half months.

Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) It’s winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)

Monica: Who are they killing off?

Joey: Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.

Rachel and Monica: Noo!!

Monica: She’s my favorite character on DOOL.

Joey: Nice.

Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in people’s faces, I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen her finish a beverage.

Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!

Rachel: Oh!

Monica: Wouldn’t you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)

Chandler: Don’t do it.

Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.

Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And she’s been on the show forever, it’s gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.

Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?

Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remoray’s body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]

Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?

Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I\'d have to say gay.

Phoebe: Yeah? Why?

Rachel: Well mainly because he\'s kissing that other guy.

Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)

Rachel: Oh yeah he\'s too cute to be straight.

Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)

Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)

Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.

Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he\'ll put it in lost and found.

Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.

Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn\'t that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.

Phoebe: Yeah… That does sound great. I\'m going to get the phone. (They both get up.)

Rachel: What? Wait! Why…why do you get the story?

Phoebe: I don\'t know. I haven\'t been out on a date in so long.

Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.

Phoebe: That wasn