张培基英译散文赏析之《故乡的雨》

故乡的雨
Rain in My Old Home
唐弢
Tang Tao
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

江南的春天素称多雨，一落就是七八天。住在上海的人们，平日既感不到雨的需要，一旦下雨，天气是那么阴沉，谁也耐不住闷在狭小的家里；可是跑到外面，没有山，没有湖，也没有经雨的嫩绿的叶子，一切都不及晴天好；有时阔人的汽车从你的身旁驰过，还带一身泥污回来。
Spring in the south is known to be rainy. During this season, it never rains there but it remains wet for seven or eight days on end. Dwellers in Shanghai, who usually do not feel the need for rain, will be bored with having to confine themselves in their close quarters when outside it is gloomy with rain. While in the open, seeing no mountains, nor lakes, nor rain-drenched soft green leaves, you’ll find nothing comparable to a fine day. Sometimes, worse still, a rich man’s car flashing past may splash you all over with mud.
要点：
1，“一落就是七八天”译为it never rains there but it remains wet for seven or eight days on end.，相当于 it never rains there without remaining wet for seven or eight days on end,其中wet 作rainy,on end 意为continuously,或at a time.英语常用never but +主语+动词，表达“未有…而不…”之意（双重否定表肯定~~），也可译为”总是“如He never comes but he brings something for the children.
他哪次来都要给孩子们带些东西。
2，“耐不住闷在狭小的家里“译为be bored with having to confine themselves in their close quarters when outside it is gloomy with rain.其中对于否定词”耐不住“，译者采用一个形式上肯定，内容上否定的be bored with来译，符合英语的行文习惯。To confine themselves in/to,即“闷着”。
3，“没有山，没有湖，也没有经雨的嫩绿的叶子”多重否定句，用否定词+nor~
4,worse still，是增译的关联词，将上下文递进的关系表达了出来，使得行文更流畅~

综述：
注意新句型never but+主语+动词~

记得六七年前初来上海读书，校里的功课特别忙，往往自修到午夜；那年偏又多雨，淅淅沥沥，打窗飘瓦，常常扰乱我看书的情绪。我虽不像岂明老人那样额其斋曰：“苦雨”，天天坐在里面嘘气，但也的确有些“深恶而痛绝之”的念头。
I remember when I first came to Shanghai to attend school six or seven years ago, I used to be so very busy with my homework that I often had to sit up late into the night. As it happened to be a rainy year, I was often disturbed by the pitter-patter of rain beating down against the window and roof. Indeed, I dislike rain with no less intensity than the elderly gentleman Qi Ming, who sits about moaning about the wet weather all day in his study, over the doorway of which hangs a horizontal board bearing an inscription in his own hand, “Distressing-Rain study”.
要点：
1， sit up late意为“深夜不睡”灰常常见~
2， “岂明老人”即周作人（字岂明），因此译为the elderly gentleman Qi Ming，这类有中国特色的词翻译时一定要加注释哦，可以在不影响理解的情况下加在原文，也可用括号或脚注的方法，总之一定要解释给读者
3， “额其斋”即“ 给某人的书斋取名题字,然后挂到正堂墙或门的上方(所谓的额指的是墙或门的上方)”故“额其斋曰：‘苦雨’”译为over the doorway of which hangs a horizontal board bearing an inscription in his own hand, “Distressing-Rain study”.
4， “苦雨”中的“苦”更多地理解为“凄苦，悲惨”因此译为Distressing-Rain
5， “天天坐在里面嘘气”译为who sits about moaning about the wet weather all day in his study,其中moan相当于sigh之前我们在总结“感慨，感叹“的时候均有提及
6， To sit about意即“懒洋洋地闲坐“，用在此处较sit更为贴切

综述：注意末句“我虽不像岂明老人那样…但也的确有些“深恶而痛绝之”的念头“，译者在翻译时调整语序为”的确，我不喜欢雨，但程度不及‘岂明老人’，他….”,使译文在意思上更为通顺和连贯

可是这种事情只在上海才会有。少时留居家乡，当春雨象鹅毛般落着的时候，登楼眺望，远处的山色被一片烟雨笼住，村落恍惚，若有若无，雨中的原野新鲜而又幽静，使人不易忘怀！尤其可爱的是夜间。不知哪一年春天，我和两个同伴，摇着小船到十里外一个镇上看社戏，完场已是午夜，归途遇雨，船在河塘中缓缓前进，灯火暗到辨不出人面，船身擦着河岸新生的茅草，发出沙沙的声音。雨打乌篷，悠扬疾徐，如听音乐，如闻节拍，和着同伴们土著的歌谣，“河桥风雨夜推篷”，真使人神往。
But that’s something which can be experienced in Shanghai only. I’ll never forget the days when I enjoyed the spring rain in my native place as a small child. I would go upstairs to take a distant look. The faraway mountains were veiled in a misty rain. The villages were now visible, now invisible. The wet open country was fresh and serene. And the rainy evening was even more lovely. One spring, together with two companions, I rowed a small boat to a townlet ten li away to see a village opera. At midnight, after the performance was over, we got caught in a rain on the way home. The boat made its way slowly and our faces were hardly distinguishable by the dim light of the lantern. Rustles were heard the boat rubbed its body against the newly grown green grass by the river bank. The rain beating on the awning gave off a pleasant sound, as if with musical rhythm and cadence. My companions began to sing, to the accompaniment of the drip-drop, the local folk song In a Boat by a Bridge on a Rainy Night. It was truly fascinating.
要点：
1，“村落恍惚，若有若无”意同“村落若隐若现”，译为The villages were now visible, now invisible.其中“now …and now…”作”时而…时而…”解
2，“和着同伴们土著的歌谣”意即”伴随着同伴们唱的地方歌谣“。译时颠倒过来，按”伴随着雨声，同伴们唱起一支地方歌谣…”译为My companions began to sing, to the accompaniment of the drip-drop, the local folk song…
3,“使人神往”=fascinating,简洁贴切
4，“不知哪一年春天，我和两个同伴，摇着小船到十里外一个镇上看社戏，/完场已是午夜，归途遇雨，/船在河塘中缓缓前进，灯火暗到辨不出人面，/船身擦着河岸新生的茅草，发出沙沙的声音。“是一长句，我们之前说过，在翻译时不推崇写太长的句子，因此在翻译时，译者根据主语和意群进行了断句，将原句译为4个分句，主语分别是I, we，the boat, rustles(沙沙声)，译文结构清晰~

综述：注意本段译者的断句~

这几年投荒都市，每值淫雨，听着滞涩枯燥的调子，回念故乡景色，真觉得连雨声也变了。人事的变迁，更何待说呢！
In recent years, living, as I do, in a big city remote from my old home, I invariably feel homesick listening to the harsh, monotonous drip, drip, drip of the rain. O even the sound of rain has changed, to say nothing of the affairs of human life!
要点：
1，“投荒“本意为”贬谪“或”被流放到荒远处“，原文作者意为”寄居或居住在遥远的城市“，故译为In recent years, living, as I do, in a big city remote from my old home, as I do 是为了加强语气
2，“滞涩枯燥的调子“，”滞涩“即”刺耳“，”枯燥“即”单调“，分别译为harsh 和monotonous。
3，“调子“即”滴滴答答“的雨声，译者用拟声词drip,drip,drip 表达~和前面的pitter-patter也是拟声词，表示”淅淅沥沥“
4，“更待何说“即”更不用说“，译为to say nothing

综述：本篇是一篇回忆性散文，原文风格清新，语言质朴，口语化的表达是这篇不算长的文章的一大亮点，译者在充分理解的基础上，运用多种手法，使译文尽量在语言和风格上贴近原文