恋爱不成功? 改变你的调情方式

There is a lot more to flirting than fun, according to a new research study that says finding success in romance depends in part on understanding your own personal "flirting style."

Whether or not you prefer sidling up to a stranger in a bar or you\'d rather sit back and wait for an object of attraction to approach are distinctions that once recognized can help people navigate the rocky seas of relationships, according to Jeffrey Hall, assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas.

Hall recently completed a study into styles of flirting among dating adults, surveying more than 5,100 people regarding their methods of communicating romantic interest.

"Knowing something about the way you communicate attraction says something about challenges you might have had in your past dating life," Hall said. "Hopefully, this awareness can help people avoid those mistakes and succeed in courtship."

Hall said there are essentially five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful.

In physical flirting, people express their sexual interest in a potential partner and, he says, often quickly can develop the relationships, have more sexual chemistry and have a greater emotional connection to their partners.

Traditional flirts tend to believe that men should make the first moves, with women assuming more passive roles. Both sexes comfortable with this style seem to prefer more "intimate" dating scenes, he said.

There are many people whose flirting styles fall into the category of "playful" and are aimed largely at enhancing their own self-esteem, Hall said. These people are less likely to have lasting and meaningful relationships, he added.

"In some ways, the very early part of developing relationships is important to the success of long-term relationships, including marriages," he said.

Hall co-authored the article with Steve Carter, senior director of research and product development at online dating site eHarmony.com; and other researchers.

一项新研究表明，调情不止是乐趣，恋爱成功与否有一部分取决于对自己个人的“调情方式”的了解。

堪萨斯大学传播学研究助理教授杰弗瑞•霍尔称，无论在酒吧里你是更喜欢挪到陌生人身边，还是宁愿坐在那里等着有吸引力的目标靠近，只要认清自己的行为特征，就能帮助你渡过感情关系中的惊涛骇浪。

霍尔最近研究了恋爱中的成年人的调情方式，对5100多人传情达意的方式进行了调查。

霍尔说：“了解自己传情达意的方式，可以解释你在过去的恋爱中可能经历过的挫折。希望这种认识可以帮助人们避免这些错误，成功恋爱。”

他说，调情方式有五种基本类型：肢体型、传统型、礼貌型、真诚型和戏谑型。

他认为，在肢体型调情中，人们会向潜在的伴侣表示出性趣。这种方式通常会使恋情迅速发展，使双方更易来电，感情更为亲密。

他说，采用传统型调情方式的人往往认为男性应当主动迈出第一步，而女性则应扮演更为被动的角色。采用这种调情方式的男女双方似乎都更喜欢“亲密”的约会场景。

霍尔说，有很多人的调情方式属于“戏谑型”，他们的主要目的在于提高自信心。他补充说，这些人不太可能拥有持久和认真的感情关系。

他说：“在某些方面，恋情确立之初的情况对于包括婚姻在内的长期感情关系的成败十分重要。”

该研究报告由霍尔和史蒂夫•卡特及其他研究人员共同撰写。史蒂夫•卡特是在线约会网站eHarmony的研究及产品开发高级主管。

Vocabulary:

sidle: to walk somewhere in a shy or uncertain way as if you do not want to be noticed（犹犹豫豫地走；羞怯地走；悄悄地走）

navigate: to find the right way to deal with a difficult or complicated situation 找到正确方法（对付困难复杂的情况）