每个小姑娘都得是公主吗?

Even though women continue to advance in American society, many little girls still get stuck in a world of fairytale princesses and frilly pink dresses. That does not sit well with journalist Peggy Orenstein, who mused about her young daughter’s obsession with Disney princesses and predilection for the color pink in a New York Times Magazine essay.

在美国社会，虽然妇女们继续取得进步，可是小姑娘们仍然很容易迷恋于童话里的公主和粉红百褶裙。新闻记者奥仁斯坦不喜欢这种现状，她在纽约时报杂志一篇文章里探讨了她小女儿对迪斯尼童话中公主的迷恋和对粉红色的偏爱。

She reflects on the overwhelming emphasis on this stereotyped ideal for girls in a new book, "Cinderella Ate My Daughter." Orenstein is at war with what she describes as our hyper-feminized girlie-girl consumer culture.

她在一本名为《灰姑娘吃掉了我女儿》的新书中，探讨人们为什么那么强调女孩儿这种程式化了的幻想。奥仁斯坦在跟她所说的过度女性化的娇娇女女孩消费文化开战。

"What is marketed to girls is this idea of pink and pretty. It fuses the idea of appearance with innocence, and then presents the interest in appearance as being evidence of their innocence," she says. "But what’s happening is that girls are emphasizing the way they look more and more and more. So, we’re talking about makeup and provocative dresses and all of that kind of thing."

她说：“向女孩推销的是这个粉红和可爱的观念，一种天真无邪的样子。于是女孩儿们就去追求一种证明她们天真的外貌。结果是，女孩们越来越看重自己的相貌。所以，我们就在谈论化妆和具有挑逗性的服饰，诸如此类的东西。”

Many parents don’t see anything wrong with their little girls playing Cinderella, putting on make-up and dressing up as cute princesses, but Orenstein wonders about the long-term impact of encouraging that behavior.

许多家长不认为他们的小姑娘扮演灰姑娘、化妆以及把自己装扮成漂亮的公主有什么不好。但奥仁斯坦想知道鼓励这种行为会有什么样的长期影响。

"I think parenting is such a present tense thing. When your daughter is 3 months old, you can\'t imagine having a 6-year old. And when you have a 6-year old, you don’t want to imagine having a 13-year old. You don’t tend to step back and see the context and the arc. I wanted to provide that for parents so they can make their choices more intentionally and really think about whether indulging them in this when they’re three was going to be healthy for them when they were 13."

她说：“我认为，做父母是一种‘当下’的事。当女儿3个月大时，你不能想像养一个6岁孩子的情景。孩子6岁时，你不会去想怎样去养一个13岁孩子。你不大可能后退一步来设想一个孩子的整个成长过程。我要给家长们的就是这个，让他们更有意识地做出选择，去考虑任由3岁的孩子迷恋这些东西，到他们13岁的时候，会不会是健康的。”

After speaking to marketers, social historians, parents, psychologists and doctors, Orenstein found there was cause to worry.

奥仁斯坦跟市场营销商、社会历史学家、家长、心理学家和医生谈话。她觉得有理由担心。

"The American Psychological Association put out a report a couple of years ago that said that an early over-emphasis on appearance and play-sexiness can create a vulnerability in girls to the sorts of issues that we as parents worry about such as negative body image, eating disorders, depression and poor sexual choices," she says. "The American Academy of Pediatrics just put out a warning to its member physicians to be more on guard for signs of eating disorders in children under 12 because they’ve been on the rise and under diagnosed."

她说：“美国心理学会两、三年前发表一份报告说，早期过份强调相貌和性感容易使女孩在我们家长担心的那种事情上受到伤害，比如对身体的负面看法，饮食紊乱，忧郁和性行为方面糟糕的选择。美国儿科学会刚刚对会员医生发出一个警告，要他们注意12岁以下孩子饮食紊乱的现象，因为这种情况有上升趋势，但却很少被诊断出来。”

When girls define themselves by how they appear to others rather than by how they feel internally, she says, it sets them up for disappointment.

奥仁斯坦指出，当女孩们以她们在别人眼中相貌如何而不是以她们内心如何感受来定义自己的时候，她们会因为失望而不安。

"We see 15-year-old girls looking in the mirror with increasing doubt, with increasing anxiety and saying, ‘Am I the fairest of them all?’ and thinking ‘No, I am not, but maybe I will be if I buy this product or that product,’ and never feeling satisfied with who they are."

她说：“我们看到15岁的女孩照镜子，带着越来越多的怀疑和越来越多的焦虑说，我是最漂亮的吗？不，我不是，可是如果我买这个产品或者那个产品，我就可能是最漂亮的。她们永远对自己不满意。”

Orenstein says parents have the power to raise healthy, self-confident daughters. They can provide positive alternatives that counter the influence of the media to buy certain products and look a certain way.

奥仁斯坦认为，家长们是有能力培养出健康、自信的女儿的。他们能够提供正面的东西，来反制鼓动人们买某些产品和装扮成某种样子的媒体影响。

"It’s not good enough just to say \'no\' to the things coming at you. You have to find other things that are out there that you can say \'yes\' to, that are fun and joyfully connect your daughter to being a girl, that can broaden and enhance and create options for your daughter and how she defines herself as a girl."

她说：“向冲着你来的东西说‘不’是不够的。你还得找到你可以说‘是’的东西来，即那些有趣而且能把你的女儿愉快地跟做女孩联系起来的东西，让她有更多更好的选择。”

Orenstein includes a list of resources she says parents can say \'yes\' to on her website. They include children’s books, like "Pippi Longstocking," in which girls stand up for themselves, movies with strong young heroines like Disney\'s "Mulan," and suggestions for activities like yoga to help girls develop a positive body image.

佩吉.奥仁斯坦在她的网站上刊登了一个她认为父母可以说“是”的资源清单，其中包括儿童书籍，比如《皮皮长袜》，书中描写女孩为自己抗争的故事。清单里还有描写年轻女英雄的电影，比如迪斯尼公司的《木兰》。奥仁斯坦还建议女孩参加瑜伽之类的活动，塑造健康的身体形像。

With all the resources available today, Orenstein says, parents can raise confident young women in spite of the seductive power of the girlie girl culture.

她说，尽管有那种娇娇女女孩文化的诱惑，但凭借今天能利用的这些资源，家长们能够培养出有信心的年轻妇女。

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